Middle-Aged, Sexist Rap? A Critical Review Of "I'm A F'n C I Double S P"

Other than, arguably, being middle-aged, I’m not talking about myself of course.

Instead, I am referring to a new video by A-list infosec personality and vlogger Mr. Javvad Malik, in conjunction with what I can only presume are some unemployed hangers-on – a pitbull who would love the validation of an award (hint: you can vote for SecurityWatch instead), and some bald grandad enjoying his last swansong before going to blogging heaven.

The 2m 33s clip was made recently in response to a Dan Raywood article in which it was suggested that the CISSP (Certified Information Systems Security Professional) was not modern enough:

“An issue for the industry, and for (ISC)2 in general, is that the membership may be seen as middle aged and out of touch.”

Such an observation is not shared by Javvad and the other members of Host Unknown though who said:,

“To us, the CISSP has always been for people of varied backgrounds and skills, and like a good pair of flared corduroys, has never really gone out of fashion. Yet how could we demonstrate it’s appeal with the infosec practitioners around the world, let alone (ISC)2, and show that not only can you save the world with a CISSP but you also get the girl (or boy)?”

Via a video. Obviously:

So what can we learn from the Mr. Cent inspired video?

Well, the first point that springs straight to mind is the fact that Langford and Agnes are holding Malik back.

Malik’s performance throughout the entire presentation is as flawless as ever, delivered with a consummate ease that betrays his professionalism and natural talent in front of the camera. From the moment the film begins he oozes such charisma and sex appeal in equal measure that no-one would be surprised in the slightest if he and all four of the young dancers enjoyed a wild after-filming party in true rockstar fashion.

Contrarily, Langford was completely wooden and so obviously scripted that I actually noted three separate occasions (0:56, 1:02 and again at 1:11) where he had to search around for the teleprompter in order to regain some idea of why he was there.

We save the worst performance for last though. Agnes who, it has been alleged, is a serial under performer in many different contexts, surpassed even himself with his portrayal of a rap star. If you can see past the gross and blatantly fake bling you’ll see a performer in the wrong profession, a rapper who can’t rap and a hypocritical  infosec professional who publicly denounces booth babes at trade shows whilst validating himself with hired hot totty at home. It is this reviewer’s opinion that he should stop fantasising about penetration testing the lady in red and get back to trying to look busy in the office.

Of course I’m joking; I think that Jav, Thom and Andy are great and the video is both clever and funny and makes the valid point that the CISSP is open to everyone, not just those of a certain age.


  1. Dan Raywood says:

    Nice acknowledgement Lee, although is the CISO becoming more about risk? New follow up piece on IT Security Guru – http://www.itsecurityguru.org/risky-future-ciso/#.U06eDPldVcs

  2. Lee Munson says:

    Hi Dan, I’m sure Brian could offer a far more qualified answer to that than I could but, in my view, Mark Brown nailed it when he said, “The CISO role has expanded and become much less about technical bits and bytes, and much more about strategy and big-picture thinking.”

    I also think there is much to be said about Dave Lewis’ view that the role should evaporate over time as increased awareness and technical measures within the whole organisation negate its requirement – a Utopian view perhaps, but one worth striving for nonetheless.

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